Reflections on Death

An uncle of mine is suffering from liver cancer and he may have a very short time to live. My mother told me recently that he was found crying on his bed a few times recently, even though he doesn't know that he's dying of cancer and that he may have a short time to live. It made me reflect on death deeply during a recent sitting that I had.

Death is going to happen sooner or later. Whether I would die as a young person, a middle aged person or an old person is an uncertainty. But all I know for a fact is that I will die. How I will die is also not certain. Will I die of old age? Will I die of sickness? Will I die of an accident? I won't know until the time arrives. But I know I will die.

But despite the certainty of it, Death seems such a far away concept. I don't feel death with me right now. But I guess, somewhere, somehow, my uncle can feel death even though know has told him that he's going to die probably within a year or less.

I tried to put myself in his shoes in my sitting. I can tell you that I am glad I wasn't the person who was dying. It's not a good position to be in though, it looms over our hear every single day. I used to be scared of even the thought of it. But over the last few years I have become less scared of thinking about it. But to actually feel that you are dying is something else.

I can understand his tears. It could be for many things. But mainly it was for either sadness or for fear and most likely for both. Sadness for what and fear of what, I contemplated?

Well sad that you have to leave and lose. Death makes us leave things behind and it make us lose our own bodies which we have come to treat as "me". Death makes us leave those we love, parents if they are alive, partners, brothers, sisters, children, grandchildren, our houses, business, pets, monies, unfinished things, unsaid things, undone deeds. It also makes us lose our bodies. But since birth for how many years we have lived (the longer the worse) we have come to see and treat this mind-body process as one single entity called "myself" and death bring a sense of closure to it. I lose myself. It's a great sense of sadness.

This is also a fearful thing. I found losing myself to be a fearful thing. Because there are so many 'what ifs' that cannot be answered. We live our whole life trying to answer the 'what ifs' and 'buts' or at least adjusting and modifying our surrounding and people to answer those uncertain times so that they become a little bit more certain but death is that final uncertainty. We have no answer to give no strings to pull to steady the ground any more. We have to join the ride whether we like it or not! The great irony of it all.

I found when I contemplated that this is a scary proposition. I mean it can be scary if we've lived all of our live in one direction and one fine day we have to suddenly shift gear in the other way.

I found great compassion for my uncle at this point. For nothing could be more worse than dying unless you know how to die. I could feel and understand his tears because I know what they were for. I have done much metta meditation with him as my object recently, because that is the best thing I can do for as long as he lives. Perhaps, the energies will be absorbed somewhere and somehow. If for a moment it brings release then it will bring him a moment's release and that will be good enough.

But more than for him, for my own self, it was a time to think and feel what it would like to die. I found that it wasn't easy. Just like one has to get ready to go on a trip, death too is a journey that one needs to be prepared to for. A disorganised trip is a pain for those who are on it. In the same way someone who is not prepared for death, it will be sad, fearful and painful process.

These are my reflections on death.

Perspective Taking

I remember learning about perspective taking in Child Psychology many years ago. It was about when children learn that what you see may not necessarily be what others see. It's done as an experiment. Two children are playing with a doll. The doll is hidden from the view of one child. But the other can see the doll. So, the child that can see the doll learns, that the other child isn't able to see the doll because of the barricade even though he/she can do so. This is called perspective taking. Being able to see from the other persons point of view. Basically putting yourself in the other person's shoes.

It's incredible that this ability which is gained in early childhood which is supposed to expand during life into adulthood isn't learnt and developed by many.

The reason for many broken relationships, interpersonal conflicts, work place issue, broken friendships (of course these being small things) to bigger things like murders, wars and torture and many other horrendous acts of crimes are due to our inability to exercise "Perspective taking". A simple thing that was supposed to have been learnt and possibly may have been learnt but have not been expanded to many other critical areas of life is standing in the way of life itself.

As I mentioned before, perspective taking is being able to see if from the other person's point of view, vantage point and NOT from your own point of view. As in the exercise the child that can see the doll, were to see it only from her/his point of view, will always see the doll. But to understand that the other person cannot see the doll, the child has to release the grip he/she has on his/her own perspective and step onto the seat of the other child and see it from there without physically moving to the seat of the other child. It's a mental activity. It requires imagination, a willingness to let go, a willingness to see something different and to finally accept that there is an actual difference according to the other person.

All of the above actions take great empathy, compassion, love, patience, letting go of your own view, sense of pride and many more acts of generosity.

Now, unlike children when we grow up, some of the beautiful qualities that we inherently bring with us die with us in the growing up process. Some of the qualities are killed by our own loved ones and some other are destroyed by our own selves. But all are done in order for the so called "survival" and "protection"in society. But as ironic as it may sound, it is what causes the destruction of society but first and foremost through the destruction of the very being that subjects him or her self to such acts of selfish desires and stupidity.

Yes, they are acts of selfish desires and downright stupidity. The inability to take a perspective is totally drives by selfishness and lack of understanding. There are some who are unable to do this, due to illness such as mental disorders and lack of mental development but the rest of us have the ability at our disposal at all times but we do not use them because we are selfish and the selfishness is driven because we fail to understand that when we become selfish we cause the greatest harm to ourselves.

When we fail to see from other people eye's or take a walk in the shoes of another, we lose the opportunity to cultivate beautiful qualities of our own hearts like, compassion, love, empathy, letting go and get rid of negative emotional states such as ego, competition, hanging on to one's views and opinions, being stingy, being demanding or commanding etc. As a result we lose our chance to grow as a human. In that we become less. The energy we give to the world becomes less and negative. It's contracted instead expanded. Not magnanimous but contracted. So, this is the aura that we build around us.

If that's the aura we build around us, then we will attract similar aura's to ourselves as a result. So, we have a contracted aura we will attract contracted aura's to ourselves. So, beings, humans or otherwise will be attracted to us. Even karmic causes negativity will arise in the mind more and more as a result. This is the harm we first and foremost do to ourselves. Then this will impact those around us.

As I said before, lack of understanding of this leads people to do selfish things. So, a person who operates in this manner will do, say and think things that are hurtful and harmful to those who are around them. There will be conflict and and sadness, stemming from such acts of those who are unable to take perspectives. Basically, it's going to be unpleasant to stay around such people for a length of time. Because, they will always be right and the other person always wrong, even if they themselves are in the wrong there will be no acceptance as there is no understanding that what they do can cause hurt and harm to another. People will also generally would not tolerate such people. There will be complaints if they work at a workplace because they will not understand the impact of their actions and words.

On the other hand, those who are able to take perspective will cultivate positivity and wholesome qualities. So, they will have a positive aura around them. They will have a positive aura about them and people will feel sense of comfort in their presence. They will be easy to be with not because they are "fun" people but they genuinely care about the well-being and welfare of those who are around them. They will have less interpersonal conflict. Even if such cases were to arise a person who is able to take perspective will apologize, when they are in the wrong and make amends and take corrective actions instead of simply demanding the world to adjust themselves according to their views and opinions. They will be easier people to talk to since they will be able to step aside from perspectives they are holding and stay in limbo to listen to someonelses's views. A person who cannot is usually very rigid and will feel like a wall and as if nothing is going in.

All the above qualities makes it easier for people to have lasting relationships with a person who is able to take perspectives.

Of course, perspective taking should not be done only for one's convenience and benefit. I am quite sure there are politicians and business people who are pretty good at perspective taking but who are not sincere at all about the motives. This is not what I am talking about. I am talking about perspective taking which cuts across all boundaries and even one's own likes and dislikes. This brings us closer to nature and universal laws of all beings and a state of harmoniousness within and without oneself and with nature. A state which can bring one close to a state of great equilibrium which bring a great sense of ease and peace.

Building Fences!

I have been investigating the reasons why is it that we feel hurt, dissapointment, sadness, misery, anger and all other negative emotions. I particularly focus on the negative emotions because they are the most disturbing and disruptive to my living as I am sure it is to most of other people. Happiness and joy will never bother us and keep us up through sleepless nights of despair but anger, hurt or misery do. So, I have tried to look at why these emotions arise in the mind over and over again. How do we begin to understand them and then find a way to rise above them.

I realised that these negative emotions arise because we engage in an activity which I termed 'Building Fences". This is not something that I only do myself but something that we all do with zest and we all have very valid reasons and justifications to do them. So, in that we lose any sense of higher functioning thinking! Now how can this possibly happen?

Well, when we get angry or miserable the object of our anger is NOT our anger. It is the person who is responsible for our anger. It's always out there, in the other person. So, what we try to do in this instance is to get rid of the object of our anger in order to protect ourselves. I need to create a boundary in order so that the other person can no longer make me angry or hurt me now or in the future. So, we define a boundary, which I call a fence. So, we build a fence. This is for our security. These are not physical fences that any of us can see or touch. They are all mind made and invisible. But there is a fence, a boundary that the other person cannot penetrate. This boundary is not in the other person. It is in us. The boundary is called "hate", 'resetment' or all the words that we are so familiar with.

But the critical part is that the fence is around us. While it prevents the other person from entering our surrounding area, we are restricted by the fence that we have built around us. This is the foolishness that we never see. We never see the harm we do to our ownselves in building fences because the only thing we can see is keeping the other person out. But in doing so what we fail to see, to our own detriment, is that we have boxed ourselves up in our little allotement because of someone else who has complete freedom whereas we don't. Isn't that a shame!

I realised and was so bewildered as to why I have done this to myself for years and continue to do this to myself again and again even now. It doesn't make sense. We love ourselves above all and yet here we are in the name of protecting ourselves, we limit our own freedom in life. Basically we lock ourselve in a prison. We give ourselves a sentence. What a shock!

Why do we do this? Well, we get to this point because we think we are protecting ourselves. The greatest mistake of all. The only way we can protect ourselves is not to build a fence but NOT to build fences. Also to find fences that we have already built and break them down. But I will tell you that this is a very difficult task.

Why? Because, somewhere deep down there is a belief that freedom can be found in the restrictions that we surround ourselves in. Isn't that incredible?! I am baffled. Is the ego this non-sensical? We are scared of freedom that we want to stay within self-imposed shackles. Cannot fathom what rationality lies within this thinking but it happens in all of us. See for yourself.

The only way to take the fences down is to see and feel the tightening of the breathing space and the closing in of our own freedom which would make any living creature want to break out of it in a mad dash. But we have to feel the pain of the limited space that fence builiding creates. Without that we will never strive to take any fences down. Instead we will live in the false security it brings while it will keep eating away our freedom until escape becomes too late for us.

One who protects the Dhamma, is protected by the Dhamma

The Buddha himself declared this point during his lifetime. That is the person who protects the Dhamma is protected by the Dhamma itself. It has always fascinated me. One use to wonder whether there is a magical element to it. May be. But for now...all I can pen down is my understanding of how Dhamma protects the one who protects the Dhamma. What may unfold in the future will be determined how well I continue to uphold the Dhamma.

What is Dhamma? It is a worthwhile thing to investigate before embarking on, how Dhamma aims to protect oneself.

Dhamma is the truth of the world. In simple terms I understand Dhamma to be kindness we show to ourselves and to each other, respect, generosity without expectations, humility, joy at others success just as much as our own without any trace of envy, forgiveness, not holding grudges, not asking for more that what is needed, praising and not finding fault whether one is able to or whether for pleasure of satisfying fleeting moments of ones cruel desires, patience at moments of grave worry and restlessness, living up to highest of virtues and moral conduct, not destroying life, others, emotions, taking away what is not given, and many more of standards that uphold which makes us essentially human.

This is the Dhamma. These laws whether they are protected by laws of society or by human rights or by UN, are unspoken and unwritten. These unfold according to a natural rhythm which the Buddha called cause and effect. They cannot be messed with and cannot be made untrue. It's like a boomerang. Once sent to space, it will come back. It's a certainty. So it Dhamma.

A person that upholds the Dhamma, attempts to live by the principles which it lays out. A Buddha is born into this world, in order to lay out these natural laws and show us the path. Whether we take that into our heart and follow it, is complete up to our own wisdom and judgment. However, whether we follow the path or not, we will be subjected to the laws of Dhamma.

Over the last 4-5 years I have attempted to follow the path laid out by the Buddha. I must say that it's not an easy path to tread on. It takes much effort. But as you walk you get to see lovely scenery. The walking along the path is the reward.

In walking the path, you start putting into practice all the qualities that I mentioned before. Of course these qualities are continuum's. In one corner you will find the unwholesome quality and the other corner you will find the wholesome quality. As you walk the path you go from one corner to the other corner. But it's not a straight line. You fall off the line and sometimes you go back and forth. But each stride and each moment of effort will keep pushing you on the continuum of that quality. As you develop like this, you move towards the light, which is the wholesomeness of the quality. For example, from anger towards loving-kindness. Of course you will in the path encounter many emotions from anger, to resentment, to attachment in the middle, to kindness...the perfection of the quality is loving-kindness. Of course this perhaps might taken lifetimes...but this will happen. But in the process towards this, you being to experience the feelings of wholesomeness.

Now you are moving closer to the Dhamma. You are upholding the Dhamma. Each time someone hurts you, instead hurting back, you start showing some amount of kindness. You may still have angry thoughts but they may have gotten less over a few months or years.

What I have found over the last 4-5 years is that, especially in regards to anger is that, when someone does something to make me angry, or I encounter a situation that makes me angry, I don't stay angry for as long as I used to. I don't burn in it as I used to. I stay in it for a while but my mind drops it. Then I move into love. It's almost like I move from dark to light. Like I have walked in the desert and found and oasis. It's wonderful.

My heart has found it's protector in the Dhamma. By upholding what is good, which is loving kindness, loving kindness springs to action when I encounter an object of anger and soothes my anger. Only because I have over the last few years continuously developed it on as many occasions as possible.

I believe this what the Buddha said in Dhamma protecting the one that upholds the Dhamma. Of course I can go on the give many a descriptions but I think one example is adequate to demonstrate the power of upholding what is true and what is good.

May I have the strength to continue to uphold the Dhamma as long as I live until my last breath leaves my body! Sadhu! Sadhu! Sadhu!

Mindquakes

We've had many earthquakes during the last few years creating enormous havoc and destruction of lives and other material things. In the same fashion there are the unseen mindquakes that take place every day and every moment in our minds that create same kind of havoc and destruction that go unnoticed. I am going to write my blog on that.

Mindquakes are far more insidious because of their frequency and the inability to predict any one of them. They create destruction not only in the place where the quake takes place but has far reaching effects on those who are around them with devastating effects. So what are these mindquakes? Well they are bouts of anger, attacks of greed and simple acts of delusion. While the roots are in those three predominantly, there are many acts that arise from them that have many names such as jealousy, tantrums, gossip done out of malice, killing and hurting of other beings, cheating, lying, deception, covetousness, hatred, grudge, depression, derogatory comments, desire, grasping, wanting and many more. All these come about as a result of a movement in the mind towards wanting or rejecting. Either way it's a movement and it's like an earthquake. In the person whose mind is in movement because of the wanting or the not wanting, there is a tremor. So, restlessness and discomfort arises in the mind of the person first and foremost in order to stop the movement. Whichever the way the movement is, be it towards wanting or rejecting, the person has to take action in the form of anger, greed and delusion.

This is the most interesting part of all. Some of us think that anger is worst and that liking something is not that bad. Well, perhaps from an outward, worldly point of view liking something is not that bad until the thing we like is easy to get or that there is nothing standing between that which you want and you. Then the whole drama starts to unfold. So, the catch of liking something is not in the 'liking' itself but how it unfolds when it becomes difficult to get. Then one falls into anger. An angry person by virtue of the difficulty that lay in anger looks and feels difficult to begin with.

Anyway, the mind is in tremors when there is a movement towards wanting and rejecting. Whether it is positive or not the outcome is a 'mindquake'. Both create havoc. Both create things to move about. Forget about outside things. The first thing that the mindquake moves is YOU. You have to move in order to get or prevent from something happening. You go through fear, or intense desire, or both. It's exhausting. While a person who moves in rejection might be quick to notice this fear, desire and exhaustion, a person who moves in greed fails to notice this as quickly. This is because the aim is to get something and in that the movement is justified. Of course in the same fashion an angry person may not feel the anger because of the same justification that goes towards why one should be angry towards the object of ones anger. But either way one is moved, tossed here and there just like in an earthquake. You have to get what you want or prevent from getting what you don't want in order to stop the mindquake. Then only one will find peace!

This is how we live most of our lives. Going from one mindquake to another. Unlike earthquake we don't notice it. Unfortunately, because of that we go through life collecting so much emotional and karmic rubble. These are the movements that Buddha asked us to see and investigate for ourselves. He asked us not just to see and investigate but through seeing and investigating, he showed us a path to put an end to it all. This is called equanimity. All movements of the mind comes to a complete stop in equanimity. He called this this the highest Brahma Vihara. This is where mind simply stands still and does not move at all. I find that so fascinating and a relief.

Going back to mindquakes, they not only create havoc in the person, but also in other around them. Imagine if you are person who wants the beautiful girl next door. Not only your mind is in movement but you are going to do many things to attract that person. As a result many lives are going to be affected, especiually if you are married or if the other person is married. Because your mind moved, you also made that tremor affect the lives of others. In the same way imagine you were angry at someone. You would go an say nasty things to that person or you would give non-verbal actions to show that you are angry at the person. This would make things unpleasant for the other person. Makes the other person sad or even angry at you. What have you done here? Mindquakes are dangrous because it can create mindquakes in others and it becomes a chain reaction. Unless the other person is mindful and to some degree well established in the Dhamma and it's principles, there is little chance there is not going to be a full blown disaster unfolding along the way or complete falling out.

THis is why the Buddha said to find Kalyana Mitta. A 'Good Friend/s". Bad friends are those that can give rise to tremors in you. No matter how well versed in the DHamma you maybe unless you have realised the Path and Fruit moments one is extremely vulnerable to the visscistudes of bad influence. So one need to chose carefully. If one hangs around those who have regular mindquakes, you have got to expect a few tsunamis to come and sweep your mind as well. Live and chose those who are within your circle carefully. Unfortunately, some people are in your life and you have little or no choice about them. What do you do in that case? Associate them wisely? Know with wisdom and take precautions.

The best precaution to take is to ensure that you have a mind that does not or have little tremors. That stands on solid grounds and have little or no connection to the other plates around you. The Dhamma teaches you how to find your own ground. This way you have your own ground that has little connection to others so that even when the others move you don't have to feel the tremors. The Sila also puts you on a higher ground so that even if a tsunami hits you, you are on high ground and can withstand it for sometime before drowning in it. This does not mean that you becomes oblivious to others needs and less caring or aloof. QUite the contrary.

The Dhamma teaches you to maintain love in your heart and compassion but at the same time live your own life in your own little ground away from it all. I cannot explain it in any other way. It comes over time. The ground develops over long periods of time and higher altitudes develop even longer periods of time. But it does develop. This is the most fascinating thig of Dhamma. But one needs to walk the path and keep to it diligently and never for once take the eye off. Even when it seems so dark and the path seems foggy one needs to keep walking just because it is the right thing and the only thing to do. Then suddnely the fog lifts and the light appears and one is shown the path sometimes just for a brief moment and then it all dissapears but just that one moment is all one needs. It fills you with an inner knowing unlike any other. A gratification and a gratitude unlike anyother and a motivation unlike any other. Then one keeps moving again.

The movements of the mind don't slow down easily. It seems to take forever. SOmetimes when one feels one is getting somewhere, the movements seems to get crazy all over. This is the path. Perseverance has never held so much meaning to me than when I had practiced Buddha's teachings. Everything seems to be getting streched that much more with His teachings with every moment. When you think you've got to some resting place, you are asked to strech so much that you think you could break. It's the most increadible thing I have ever undertaken. It asks for all of you and you have to be willing to give all and ask nothing in return. In life where I have been used to ask what's in it for, it's come by hard when I feel I give so much and nothing comes back. It's been a tough learning to just to give for the sake of giving and for the love of it. Somewhere over the years a little change too has happened where giviging for the sake of it also isn't that bad anymore. There is a sense of relief in that.

But that little bit has come over 4 years!

Letting Go

"Letting Go" is a hacked term in my opinion. I hear people using that everywhere. For me "Letting Go" holds profound truth and meaning and I would not use as a commonplace phrase but a phrase that I would strive to incorporate into the way I live for as long as I live.

Letting Go, as Buddha said is Renunciation. Letting Go happens in all parts of life starting from material possessions (what is outside) to immaterial possessions (what is inside). Without both there is no letting go. Letting go of what is inside is also very difficult without being able to let go of what is outside, our material possessions.

My own life experiences have taught me that letting go is not easy be it what is material and/or especially what is immaterial. I have always been a giving person from the outside as well as from the inside. I was generous in giving and was always kind to people no matter who they were.

However, during a certain period in my life I realised that I had serious limitations/boundaries to my giving. When it came to people, situations I did not like I found it hard to let go. I also found it difficult to let go when things were close to my heart. Again people and situations I liked were instances where I found it hard to let go. What was it that I struggled to let go?

I dug deep inside to see what was going on, because I was being crippled by the power of not being able to let go. At the time I didn't understand that it was not being able to let go that was making me suffer. But I felt like being inside of a prison cell or not having enough air to breath. I was suffocating. It took a while to realise what things. But when I did boy was it like a light bulb going off in my head. But at the same time, it felt like a daunting task.

I realised that deep within, not wanting to let go, were my immaterial possessions. Those were like deep rooted roots. They have spread all over my heart and my life essence was being sucked out of me. That was the reasons for the feeling of suffocation (in the words you might understand, anger and resentment towards others, feelings of isolation, loneliness, sense of fear of future, uncertainty, depression, being envious and a sense of even everyone have better than I have kind of feelings). So, I started digging deep and looking for the roots. I realised that I was struggling to let go of my views, opinions, judgements, prejudices and my sense of who I was and my sense of self worth and importance in my own eyes and in the eyes of the rest of the world. I needed to be seen and heard by the world but in that struggle the goodness in my heart was dwindling. My views, opinions, judgements, prejudices brought forth anger, resentment, envy, jealousy, and all the rest of the negative emotions. I was drowning.

I had to learn to let go. I promise you that the journey was not an easy one. Letting go is not easy. It take courage. It took me much courage and confidence in something I could not see. I gave into something not knowing but believing that it was bigger than me and because of it, it had to be better. But that simple act held me up somehow, somewhere and now I feel a sense of being cradled by it.

Initially I started letting go of my anger. But instead of striving to do something, the Buddha's path teaches you to cultivate. So you are not raging a great battle to destroy anger. All you do is quietly cultivate metta. Over a period of 6-8 months I found that my burning anger was being subsided without doing much to get rid of anger. All I did was cultivate what was good that was already in my heart. My heart was like a garden. All this time I was allowing the weeds to grow but not allowing the sun to shine on the beautiful seeds. Finally I was focusing the sun shine on my heart's garden and the flowers were thriving and the weeds could not be seen.

Then along with that I started working on my weeds now that my heart was no longer throbbing with anger and all other negative emotions. The little insights along the way helped me to shape my life to path of transformation. Slowly the weeding work began. Weeding is continuous work, as all gardeners must know. One can never sit back on ones laurels and think that all the weeding is done and that for the rest of their lives their garden is free from weeds. From time to time we all need to put on those gloves and start weeding.

But my heart was gotten rid of it's most darkest and disturbing weeds over a period of 2-3 years. And I felt a sense of ease and peace like I never felt before. I also realised that I had changed over this period. I was no longer seeing the world through the same perspectives. I had mellowed. My views, opinions seems like clay. They are more bendable and mailable. I have also dropped some of the views and opinions along the way. My attachments for them have becomes less burdensome that I am not aroused in the same fashion that I once was be it a person/situation that I like or dislike.

I am no longer so bent on being heard or seen, or being someone or showing who I am or with this idea of self worth. Therefore I am in less of a struggle with myself and the world. I feel an ease with which I walk my path. I am less moved my what happens around me and opinion of others. While I listen to them, I am not swayed and bounced around from one wall to another and my sense of who I am or what I am or how I ought to be is not touched (really I don't think I have much of a concept of that compared what I used to have).

My heart is not closed. I don't try to find way to reduce myself in order to escape anyone or anything. In fact I always strive to extend so that I can get bigger and open up to the greater mysteries that lie beyond my current reach. The only way, I know I can do that is by opening up my boundaries (like I did once) and not my diminishing no matter what life presents. But I do this in my own time according to my own heart and not to the demands and expectations set by the world and roles of society.

I believe these are the ways of letting go and results of letting go. When I hear people say "let go" or that they have "let go" I hope they feel the same sense of ease and peace in their very being and not a sense of justification and a sense of worry and a sense of diminishing of their spirit.

Something that I have understood is that letting go can be done in the head. That means logic can be used to let go. But that letting go, will reduce your heart and eat you away with time and life will spit the remnants out and you will only be hurt by it. I know this to be a truth because this kind of letting go is easy to do. We as humans like to do what is easy and fast. But something what is easy and fast isn't what is good in the long run. It leaves indelible marks. The real letting go must involve the heart. The heart has to open with all of it's love and kindness. This is the hard part. This is why only a few humans dare or even endeavour to strive for letting go. When you let go involving the heart then life opens up to you. The beauty and the immeasurable treasures of the human heart are revealed to you.

Dhamma (Protection)

Two weeks ago, before the start of the Dhamma school Ven. Somananda gave a mini talk on what Dhamma meant. It was such a brief but a meaningful talk that resonated with me very deeply. It was about the meaning of Dhamma. Dhamma means protection, to up hold. The Buddha said that whoever upholds the Dhamma is protected by the Dhamma itself. Over the last 4-5 years of my life I have begun to understand the true meaning and the depth of what the Buddha said. There is a profundity that I didn't realise for many years but only started to understand along with serious practice and dedication to the five precepts, meditation and striving for a life that falls in life with that of what the Buddha preached.

Dhamma truly is a protector. But it does not protect just by the fact that you are a Buddhist. It does not protect you just because you are well-versed in the suttas, the pali canon, and all the teachings of the Buddha. The Dhamma protects one only when one becomes the Dhamma itself. One must put aside all notions, beliefs, knowledge, views and a sense of self and truly give oneself to the practice of Dhamma and then the wheel begins to turn. It was fascinating to observe and see the process unfolding within oneself. It's like the blossoming of a flower. One cannot make it open its petals, but one can only make the sun shine upon the flower bud and wait for the petals to open up. So too does Dhamma. As it grows in you, Dhamma opens around you like a protective sheath, surrounding you in its cover. It's not a cover that's visible. It's an invisible sheath of protection that you carry with you as long as you maintain the practice.

It's so very powerful but unlike many things in the world that can be seen, heard, touched, smelled Dhamma cannot be felt by the senses. This is what makes things hard for us all, including myself. Because it's all within oneself away from the normal sense contacts and the sense world, it's easy to stray away from that and swept by the currents of what is immediately in front of you. So, we depend on the protections provided by the sense contacts and the sense world. For example, we depend and we put so much effort and importance to material things like houses, money, cars, and more houses and all kinds of other things but none of these things give us protection. Perhaps in the short-term from the sun, rain, snow, winds etc but all these things are subject to change and decay. Also as we change the allure and the fascination these things hold for us wither away. Both are temporary.

So, we seek protection in what is temporary and flimsy. But yet find great solace in them. However, just because we cannot see, hear and touch we don't make the effort to seek what can provide us eternal protection: the Dhamma. It's hard and requires much work and effort. I find it so very ironic that people are willing to work their butts off in going to work for more than 8 hours a day for 5 days a week and sometimes even more, raise a family and feed them and look after them and work like dogs to continue feeding them and up keeping them, cook, clean, shovel snow and do numerous tedious work day in day out and yet not allocate a single hour or a day or a few days a year to their spiritual development. None of the day to day things they do, have much benefit to each one of us other than ensure our survival for the length of period we live...then we are gone. But we work and fret over things like we would live a life time.

But no one thinks of the eternal life that each one of MUST ride on our own even after death. That life has to be walked whether we like it or not. But none of the activities that we do for our survival in this life, would help us in that journey. But no one thinks of this. I don't understand why? Is it because the question is not pressed hard enough? Perhaps that's why old people start visiting the temples and start observing sil, or giving more danas? Because with old age comes the pressing issue of death. But when we are young, no such pressing issue?! How ignorant are we?

Anyway, Dhamma will only protect those who live according to Dhamma. We have to shape our lives according to Dhamma whether we like it or not. It helps to realise the deeper truth presented by the Buddha rather than read them and understand them as just another intellectual jargon. That way shaping our life becomes that much easier. When one shapes life according to the Dhamma, one becomes something larger than oneself. Dhamma is the truth of everything. As we shape our lives according to the Dhamma we align ourselves to the greater truth of things. By doing so, we becomes one with things as they should be rather than fighting against it. That's why great arahants could live life in total harmony, because they were in sync with everything.

In the world, we ask for what cannot be, we crave for what is not real and is in constant friction with life and everything and truth. Basically we are living against the Dhamma. That's why there is so much misery, heartache, disappointments, anger, rejection, disapproval. When one starts to align oneself with the Dhamma all these above things fall by the way side because ones perspective change and along with that one beings to see the truth and way things are rather than things ought to be according to ones egotistical wishes and whims. When that happens life starts to synchronize.

It's the most beautiful thing in the world. But it takes time and work. Not outside work but much introspection and contemplation. It takes self-discipline and single-minded dedication. But when your life starts taking shape you can see for yourself the beauty of the Dhamma. The great benefits borne in the heart. They are the miracles of life.

May you too find the miracles that lie deep in your heart!