What is Craving?

The Buddha said that Craving is the Second Noble Truth. It is the cause of all of our Suffering (Dukka). Craving is also known as Desire or wanting. As the Buddha pointed out there are two extremes to avoid: the one end of that continuum is self-indulgence and the other end is self-mortification. So, in craving or wanting one end of wanting is getting want you want (equivalent to self-indulgence) the other end is not getting what you want or rejecting everything (equivalent to self-mortification). At least this is my understanding of craving.

So we need to avoid both wanting and not wanting in order to let go of craving. What a powerful understanding!

I have been meditating for quite sometime now and have known this to be true. But only a few days ago did I see this within me with such power. I felt almost paralysed. I felt fear. How can I ever let go of something so powerful, I wondered. I have done all this work, to come back to the very root all over...I felt disheartened...but after some contemplation, I felt much relief. I felt that the road has been made clear for me. At least I know the way. It`s OK. Even if I come back to it a million times, I am coming back to a Noble Truth. It needs be seen again and again until I cannot see it no more. That`s what the Buddha said.

So I feel relief and I feel renewed in my efforts to walk the path with vigor. The work that needs to be done is much.

The more I see craving of wanting and not wanting, I learn to make peace with it, I learn to let go my craving. Even if that craving is for one little thing, even if that craving is for one moment in time. Ajahn Brahm, in his meditation retreat gave the most wonderful piece of advice, which I have taken in both my hands and put in front of my minds eye to see every moment of my day and that is `to make peace, be kind, be gentle and be patient`. I have found that to be an excellent antidote for craving and letting go of craving.

Of course, I will not pretend to say that I can do it all the time. There are many many moment that even when I remember his words so clearly that I am unable to do anything about it. Power of craving is such that you get swept away by it so fast that you are left helpless and it`s mercy as if a tsunami has hit you. But on occasions and they have increased over the last three years, I have been able to use those words to my benefits. To find peace, to put my mind at ease.

Sometimes, I do believe that when that very moment when the burning of craving stops and that feeling of relief and peace settles, I truly believe that in that there is that essence of Nibbana there. Even if it is a moment, a rarest of glimpse, a faint light at the end of the tunnel, I firmly believe that is what NIbbana must taste like. Like stepping into the fall air, crisp and full; feeling of total peace and relief. Like a workload being put down.

It`s an alluring feeling. You want to feel it over and over again because it`s such a relief like nothing has ever given you. Makes one appreciate the Buddha for what he has done and given to the world.

But despite all that, craving rises again. Its tentacles firmly gripping you in its power. I am amazed at it. We have no choice, almost. To some degree I have some to have a lot of compassion for people and less judgmental of those who are around me. I used to be very judgmental. I always thought I was better and that if I put my mind to it, I could rise above things and be better. I always wondered why other could not do that. But now I see that I am no better than others. That we are all just trapped (I mean not entirely) but quite a bit. It`s difficult. It`s not easy to establish mindfulness. It`s not easy to show loving-kindness, compassion etc. They are difficult to come by (I am talking about myself). So how can I judge another for their lack of it when I myself am struggling.

Craving is powerful. We don`t know this. Not knowing it makes it even worse. It`s like having a cancer and not knowing we have a cancer. Basically we will not treat it so it will continue to grow and we will suffer and suffer and we will in the end die of it. Craving is the same. If we don`t see it, it will consume us, it will make us suffer....oh it will not kill us, it will make us live longer and longer in samsara and suffer and suffer and there will be no end to it. At least with cancer there will be death but with Craving no such luck.

So let us work to let go of craving and find peace in our hearts forever!

With metta

The Old Faithful

My husband and I recently visited the Yellowstone National Park. It's famous for it's Geysers, hot springs and mud pots. The Old Faithful is its most famous geyser. A geyser is a hot spring that shoots up water because the rock bed the water is held is highly pressurised. But for me the Old Faithful held something more meaningful. The old faithful shoots up only at particular times of the day. When it shoots up, it stays for a while and then it dies down. It will flare again after many many hours when the rock bed pressurises for the water to shoot up again. It's inspiring and fascinating.

The Old faithful reminded me of the Dhamma and the rising and ceasing of our thoughts.

For me the shooting up of the Old Faithful was similar to how our thoughts appear and disappear in our minds. Though to us, seem so solid and so united...they are not. They are all stringed together like beads on a necklace. So close are they, that they give the illusion of solidity. Each thought appears and stays on for a while and disappears and then the the other appears. Just like the old faithful appearing and disappearing.

But it is so hard for us to notice it. Even if we know it, even if we notice the appearance of a thought, its; very hard to stay with it. Because they move so fast. Our lives move at such a fast pace that to notice the movement of our mind and the thoughts in it take extraordinary slowing down. That's what's achieved in meditation.

Focusing on the breath helps us to slow things down. We focus all of our attention on the breath, leaving the rest of the world outside. As we focus on the breath, which we hardly notice, in our day to day life, we learn to quieten our minds down. With that the mind quietens and slows down. This is why when most people, as they start to, meditate they get bombarded with thoughts. It's not that they did not have thoughts before. Its' just that for once, they are quiet enough to notice the thoughts. Anyway, with the breath slowing down, our thoughts slow down. Gradually and eventually we totally get absorbed so that when we come out of our meditation, we have slowed down so much that we are able to noticed the world in a totally different way.

The old faithful reminded me of the rising and the ceasing of the thoughts and with that everything as we know. It's a wonderful phenomena. The experience is hard to stick, no matter how much you notice it. I do find it hard when the going get tough at times. It takes much mindfulness to bring to focus all the experiences and keep the mind in balance. But when the mind is brought to balance, there is incredible sense of peace and happiness. You know in typical life, all we try to do, is justify, prove "I am right and you are wrong" or even to say something back to put the other person in order that others don't walk all over you is an 'EGO' assertion. But if I am able to bring a moment of mindfulness in the midst of all that chaos and know that it's all an ego battle and that there is no need for any of that "for this person called "me"' in that moment I find that peace. I believe, this is essence the peace one aims to find once and for all in Nibbana.

Watching the Old Faithful inspires you, because it's a natuaral wonder. It's a sight to behold.

So is Dhamma. Practice of Dhamma is inspiring but it is also very difficult. I find that much energy is required for the effort. I have done much in my life but nothing has asked so much of me like the practice of Dhamma. But at the same time, I have never felt like giving all of me, like I do for the practice of Dhamma. There is an intrinsic motivation and a sense of gratification that arises out of the practice of Dhamma that is so hard to explain. I am a person who gets bored with things easily. I need to be challenged constantly and my mind needs to be challenged and a sense of curiosity has to be aroused often in order to continue with whatever I do. Time and time again, in almost everything I have done in my life, I have found boredom, lack of inspiration but I feel Dhamma still has not failed to inspire me, it still has not failed to arouse my sense of curiosity. I am amazed and at the same time I am inspired.

Just like the old faithful, the Dhamma has remained an "Old Faithful' right by my side. May it continue to inspire me for all of my life and throughout my Samsara!

Meditation not a quick fix

Yesterday I met a very interesting old lady. Her husband had died two years ago and she is now living on her own. She told me that she missed him dearly. They had been married for 54 years before he had died. Now that he is gone, she feels empty. She said she cannot sleep at night anymore. She is on pills she said. But nothing works. Despite being involved in church and many other volunteer services, having friends and family she is having trouble getting to sleep. She feels as if everything starts to churn in her mind when she tries to sleep in the night.

She was asking me about meditation. She had heard that meditation is a good 'cure' for these kinds of problems, she said. So, she wanted to talk to me about meditation. After having talked to her I suggested that before she started meditation that she would benefit by looking at other alternatives to get her mind settled.

But my point is this.....'meditation' is becoming another 'fad'! It's becoming like something one can buy off the pharmacy for a cold, a cough and everything else. It is NOT!

Meditation, as I have known and as I have been taught by my teachers (Buddhist monks and nuns) is a way of life. It's not a "quick fix" or a "solution" to overcome personal problems, marriage problems, sicknesses or even to run away from lay life into solitude. Meditation is a life time commitment, that one has to undertake with great pure intention, with a big heart to give unstintigly to a process that would take years if not lifetimes perhaps to open up. One needs to be a silent and patient observer in that process. Fruits of that process, may or may not appear; you may or may not taste that fruit, it may be sweet or it may be sour, but through it all one needs to persevere. That is meditation. Meditation is a giving; not a taking.

So, please for those who want to meditate, don't look for shortcuts, take the long ardous path.

In this modern world we are so programmed to look for shortcuts. The quick fixes, the fast ways, the fast foods. But spiritual path, truth cannot be made to come to you fast. In fact, the harder you try the slower you go in the spiritual path. That's just the way of truth. But when you give yourself, diligently, without asking for much the path opens up easily. That's the nature of truth. It doesn't try to show off to you. When you give yourself to it, without hanky panky, it naturally comes to you.

It is unfortunate some people nowadays try to meditate looking, of course for relief. I cannot blame them. I can only feel compassion for the pain and suffering they have to go through. But if one meditates looking only for relief, then it`s not a good approach to meditation. Meditation is only one step in the Noble Eight Fold Path. There are seven other steps in it. They must all be cultivated togethether. Not just one in isolation will reap in peace or happiness. Of course, if one through meditation realises, jhanas or truth or come to have insights then that can lead one to make changes in ones life so that one walks the eight fold path in its entirety. But if jhanas don`t come, or insights don`t come, then one will be like an empty vessle.

So, it`s wise to practice meditation understanding the path taught by the BUddha. Not as a quick fix or to seek some quick relief. Nibbana cannot be found only in meditation. Nibbana, can arise in a mind that has been tamed in sila, cultivated in meditation that would then open itself up to wisdom like a flower that blossoms in its own good time. Like a ripened fruit, that falls from a tree. It happens!