Seeing things as they truly are

I never quite understood what it meant to see things as they were until about a week ago. It was a beautiful revelation. A quite humbling experience for someone who thought knew quite a lot about things and understood quite a lot. It also made me realise that life is never what it presents itself to be as. Beyond the endless complexities and apparent turbulences there is a simplicity to it that we need to open up ourselves to and completely surrender to. Then Truth appears like the Sun that's been covered up by dark stormy clouds!

You know when the Buddha taught breath meditation, he taught to watch the breath and know the breath and its characteristics. I finally realised that SEEING the breath for what it is, NOT saying to myself "Oh this is a long breath" or "Oh this is a short breath" or saying "This is a hard breath", "This is a soft breath", "This breath is fluttering", or whatever the breath is or is not....is where we learn for the first time to see things as they truly are. I had never felt more joy than the moment I realised this.

You know how in life, when we see, hear, taste, touch, smell it is always followed by a story in our head. We always have something to say about it. If it is something we saw, "Oh it's ugly" or "I like it" or "I just don't care much about it"....and so it goes on for all other sense experiences. But hardly do we experience things or see things for what they are without a story or a commentary in our heads. Think about it for yourself. Even when you meditate isn't it why you find it so hard to meditate? Because there is this voice inside your head that gets you to go the kitchen and think of what food to cook for dinner, or say 'Oh the body is not comfortable" or it's too hot" or whatever it maybe....there is always a story related to a sense contact or a story related to future or past, isn't it?!

When that happens we can never experience anything for what it is. Of course that is why we cannot keep our attention on the breath. Because there are too many other things.

But let's say it's the breath. Then we have to tell stories about the breath as well. When we finally shut down that chatter in the head/in our minds only can we experience and see things for what they truly are. Then the pure experience of things happen...just like the Buddha said. At that moment, even if it is for a moment, the mind has let go of hindrances and you see the breath for what it is and it is a beautiful thing. Or if it is not the breath, if it is the pain in your leg, you see the sensations travelling, arising and ceasing instead of as a PAIN that you want to get rid of!!

I also realised how breath meditation leads and supports Vipassana meditation. When you learn to see the breath for what it is and when you learn to sustain that attention long enough, you can then channel that awareness to mind objects as they arise and cease. You can see the mind objects one by one in its purest form as they arise in consciousness without the presence of hindrances but also not going or coming out of deep states of Jhana. But still it requires deep continuous concentration on a string of objects one after the other unlike in Jhana where concentration is only on one object.

What a beautiful thing. Buddha truly was a scientist of the mind!

Anyway, this was what I realised about a week ago. It refuelled my practice in a way nothing had ever done before. It was almost like doing an experiment and seeing that the method does work. I realised that Buddha's method does work. It does open up the path the way he said it would (I mean I don't know much but I saw just a speck of light in a far distance which appeared and disappeared but that was good enough). So it makes me want to try harder now with renewed vigor.

Reflections of my mind!

I just got back from a 9-day meditation retreat with Ayya Medhanandhi. This is my 3rd 9-day meditation retreat. During the last three years I have been privileged to go on retreats regularly. I can feel the changes in my mind states. It's funny in some ways to observe the journey my mind has gone through in meditation over the last three years.

Reflecting back, I remember the first retreat in Sri Lanka in early 2009. I was so frustrated half way through the retreat. I remember sitting in the shrine room and wondering what on earth I was doing there. My mind was going bonkers....seriously bonkers and I just tried and tried and the more I tried the more it went bonkers. In the end I just gave up and then it settled somewhat. I learnt not to push myself so hard. Well, I have a bit of a stubborn streak anyways. I guess that's my mind showing up...so I finally encountered it first hand and didn't know what to do. Then out of desperation I gave up and realised how to handle myself. I do have compassion for those who try to trifle with me now. People must feel real frustration trying to deal with me at times!

Then I went on my second retreat with Ajahn Brahm. I had expectations. I struggled with them. I was away in Australia and my husband had spent quite a lot of money sending me there and I felt the pressure of my own expectations. Again I struggled. I also struggled with my breath meditation. I could not relax. I could not relax enough for the breath to appear strong enough. So it was a struggle again. Half way through the week, I had a major attack of hindrances for a couple of days. But I stayed calm this time round since I had learnt from the previous retreat. I also learnt to let go of my expectations and relaxed enough to get some meditations. Again I learnt. I learnt to be patient despite odds stacking up against me from minute to minute, I learnt the importance of kindness, gentleness and making peace and what a difference they make to a turbulent mind.

This time I when I went for the retreat I did not feel the burden of expectations. I was relaxed. I was clam. I was willing to settle into the moment no matter in what form that moment presented itself to me. I found my meditation taking off. It's taken me many years, months and moments of much struggle, pain, frustration but finally I feel as if I am having a breakthrough. Of course I am also mindful of the fact that this breakthrough can also be fleeting. After all, all conditioned phenomena are impermanent. But while it lasts I will appreciate it.

Last three years of meditation and following the path of Dhamma for me personally has been like a little science project that I have undertaken on myself. I didn't think it would last this long. I tend to get bored with things easily once I start them just because things start getting into a routine and after a while it's the same thing being done over and over again. But ironic as it is, my life is a routine like it has never been. I have a routine that I follow like clockwork (hardly do I deviate from it). In it is meditation where you sit in one place without moving for a couple of hours a day. Yet, I am still to find it boring. In fact the more I meditate the more curious I become and the more interested I am in doing more of it. It is ironic that such outwardly boring looking activity can be so interesting and can generate so much joy and peace.

Meditation is also an activity that takes your whole being. If you cannot give everything you've got without expecting, you will not get much back. It' funny isn't it. In our life we are prepared to give and take. We are taught to bargain, exchange, work for what you get etc but here is something that requires all of your effort and all of your being and also requires you to give it without expecting nothing in return. The highest form of generosity is taught in meditation. It took me sometime to get used to this and get my mind around it (but it is still a learning). I am constantly inspired by that very thought now.

Meditation also teaches you to walk a fine line (the middle path). You cannot be too greedy so that you can exert so much effort to get it. You know in this world we are told that if you try hard, work hard, you can get somewhere, be somebody etc. but in meditation if you try so hard, your mind will contract and shrivel up. All you are left with is frustration, like I was left with. On the other hand you also cannot just sit back and wait for it to happen to you or do half heartedly or when time permits or when it's convenient for you. No...you have to put in all the effort you have without too much stretching. Then it takes off. Isn't that wonderful. The path opens up...it's like hitting that threshold. You know when a plane takes off or a rocket takes off it needs to hit a threshold to take off...like that the mind too has a threshold to take off on to the middle path. In meditation we need to find that. But it requires constant effort, every moment of the day, every waking moment.

The more I begin to see these, the more I develop enormous love for the Buddha and for what he taught. His wisdom is beyond my wildest imagination, his kindness I cannot fathom even in my imagination. He truly was an incredible being unlike and incomparable to any other. I do not wish to travel the Samsara long enough to see another Buddha but I do wish to see the Buddha by seeing the Dhamma.

Fooled by the Senses

My husband was in Victoria, British Columbia for a few days early June. During his visit he got to step inside a naval simulator. Basically, to step inside a concrete hall which looks like the inside of a control deck of a ship. It has a 360 degree glass window. Outside of the window, in the front you can see the front of the ship. A few meters away surrounding the entire hall is a white wall on which the scenarios unfold. For example, in one scenario you can see the horizon and in another some other ships, or in another you can only see the rough water for miles on end, or you can see the harbour or land or whatever the scenario the officers choose.

My husband said the most interesting phenomena of all was how he, including the rest of the people, was reacting to the movements as if it were really happening. He said despite him knowing very well, that he was standing on a concrete floor, in a simulation room, going through a simulation, he had no control over his reactions. He said he was grabbing for balance and that he was loosing his footing when the sea was getting rough. He was both amazed and amused by the experiences. While I did not have the good fortune to experience this, when I was told about it, I was happy to let my imagination run wild.

It was then that I realised how deceptive our sense really are. Yet, we depend on our senses to get by in this world from moment to moment, literally. Then if that is the case, how easily can we be fooled by our senses? Think about it! All the world and its experiences that we see, hear, taste, touch, smell are based on our senses seeing (eyes), hearing (ears), smelling(noes), touching (skin) and taste (tongue). Now, we readily take the input we receive from these sense to be correct, accurate and to be true, don't we?! Isn't that why my husband,was swaying and trying to grab hold on to whatever he could thinking he might take a fall, despite the fact that he was standing on unmoving concrete?! His senses, that he live by, get by on a day to day basis, tricked him. How else do his senses trick him?

Putting these two things together made me question, how sure should we be of our sensory inputs? Well the real question was how wary should I be of my sensory inputs? It also reminded me of something the Buddha taught a disciple of his, just before the disciple died.

During the time of the Buddha, there was a young boy (details really escape my mind) who ran behind the Buddha asking for some teachings. The Buddha was on his alms rounds. Now the Buddha usually does not want to be disturbed during this time. But the Buddha was able to see, using his super-normal powers, that this young boy was going to die soon but that he also had the karmic causes strong enough to understand the Dhamma. So the Buddha stopped to teach. Apparently the Buddha gave the shortest teaching possible. The Buddha said to this young boy, "Take what you see as just the seen; take what you hear as just the heard" and the Buddha went on his way. Apparently, this was enough to awaken the mind of this young boy to the Dhamma.

I believe what the Buddha said can be found in what my husband experienced in that simulation room.

Think about it this way. We live our lives, we do things because we react to our sensory inputs. When someone smiles, we smile back. If someone scold us, we cry, we get depressed or scold back. When we feel hot, we take a shower or switch on the AC. Whatever it maybe, all of our actions are determined by our sensory inputs. After all a dead person doesn't react or respond do they? Why because their senses have stopped taking inputs. But for us because our sense are alive and because they take inputs, we are forever reacting to them. We are being swept away by our senses on a moment to moment basis. We are wired and we are brought up to react this way.

When the Buddha said, "Know what you see as only the seen", he said to be aware of this phenomena. He said this in regards to all of the senses. He said that we should be aware that it's only the senses taking inputs and that there is no need for us to react. For example, the eye is doing the seeing and that is it! There is no other story to be told. Isn't that amazing! I mean how truly liberating is that. Usually what we do is, when the eye sees, we think "Oh I am seeing", then we say more stories, "Oh I am seeing that woman making this horrible face at me, how dare she?".....and the saga continues. Along with that the length of Samsara lengthens as well.

The Buddha told us not to be fooled by our senses. For when we are fooled by our senses, like most of us are most of the time, we tend to REACT instead of RESPOND. The beauty in what the Buddha taught lies in realising that there is no need to REACT but there is all the need to RESPOND because that is all the choice each one of us have. In how each one of us RESPOND lies the liberation of each one of us. For example, in my responding or reacting lies my liberation or suffering not yours or someone elses and vice versa.

Humility

I make it a point to have regular conversations with my meditation teacher, Bhante Saranapala. He has been my teacher for many years now. He has not only been a teacher but a great friend and an exemplary figure. I have learnt much from his formal and informal teachings.

One such informal occasion took place on the phone about two weeks ago. Of course he resides in the Mississauga temple. So I ring him up perhaps once a month or so. This time round, I had written an editorial for the newsletter and I had wanted his approval for it. Since I did not hear back from him, I thought I'd give him a ring. By the time I rang him up, he had already sent me a reply but as he always does, he took the time to talk to me. He praised me for what I had written in the editorial and said that he enjoys reading what I write because they are very insightful. Then came the surprise....he said that he learns from the things that I write.

I was so very pleased to hear that. My teacher learning from me! Hearing that from him meant a lot. Of course I was walking a few feet above ground level when it hit me. In what he said was something was of so value to me for my own growth. I almost missed that in my egotistical euphoria. It was Humility!

Think about it. As I said...he is my teacher, a learned monk, a Highly learned monk, venerated by many in society....him saying that he learns things from me.......me....just a nobody really compared to him. He didn't have to say that. In fact he doesn't have to say anything. He doesn't even have to admire and appreciate what I write and it's contents or whatever. He could very well say like so many others do and like I have heard so many others including myself say, "Oh I did the same" or "Yes I know". But instead he choose to do and say something quite the opposite.

It was after my ego calmed down that I picked up on something which he obviously did not intend to teach. But sometimes teaching is best done when someone lives the teachings. This was such an occasion. I was so inspired. Of course it gave material for me write another blog but it also made me realise how much I needed to cultivate the quality of "Humility" within me. In fact don't we all?

Think about it. Everything we do, we do to make ourselves look good, to seek approval, to make ourselves worthy...but in it all is the desire, the need to justify and satisfy the ego. When I write my blogs, I constantly remind myself as to why I write my blogs. It's not to get as many people to read them...no that's not the purpose...if it were the purpose then my blogs will serve no purpose other than to support and build up of my own ego. But my blogs are written so that I may gather my own learnings from life so that it's like a compilation of teachings for me...and if and when it's time for others to benefit from it perhaps I may share at large. But that is all.

But like this how much we engage in ego building activities. Be it buying a car, having a house, going on holiday and talking about it or posting numerous pictures on facebook...it's all part of making out a niche for my little ego. But to let it shrink, to make it's importance a little less is a difficult thing for all of us. In fact no one for even a minute would even consider this. Considering this would be next to craziness (although real craziness lies in feeding the ego more and more!)

When Bhante appreciated me, said that he learns something from me, he put his ego aside. He put aside his identification with his titles "Bhante Saranapala, Theravada Priest of over 25 years, PhD teacher, Meditation Teacher, Pali Scholar, Buddhist Scholar etc", he also put aside his identification and value he has placed with all the years of his experiences as a priest and a meditator. That is not an easy thing to do.

Look at yourselves. How easy is it for you to listen to a child? How easy is it for us as adults to listen and take the advice of a child, even if it makes sense?! Forget about listening to a child. How easy is it for us to listen to a different point of view from another human being of the same age group. My point is that it's not easy for us to put aside what we know and what we think of ourselves to be and the worth we attach to it and the worth that has been attached to it by others around us. It takes a lot of training and self-discipline. But unless we learn to do so, at least some of the time, we become hollow, we become mean, self-righteous and worst of all we fail to learn and grow, we become fossilised.

But it's inspiring to see humility when it happens. Especially to see it coming from someone who does not need to give it. I think it shows true spiritual maturity of a person. Thank you Bhante for teaching me another inspiring lesson!

Life: Birth and Death

My husband and I are flying to Toronto this Friday. I am not a fan of the flight taking off but I am a big favourite of the flight landing. I am always apprehensive of the unknown the take off of a flight makes me exposed to but I do like the landing because it's finally "home safe home". Someone who specialises in flying recently told me that the landing is more dangerous than a take off....but that hasn't made me change my opinion.

Interestingly flying reminds me of birth and death in an odd sort of way.

I think birth is similar to the 'take off' and death is similar to a 'landing'. When the flight takes off you don't know what you are going to go through. There could be turbulences, a storm, lightening, huge winds, volcanic ashes or in the worst case scenario a crash or an uneventful but perfectly safe flight! Isn't it similar to birth? Because when we are born we don't know what life holds for us. We might be sick, wealthy, poor, intelligent, stupid, be a drug addict, a scientist, a monk, happy, miserable, psychotic but whatever it maybe we just don't know. Birth brings with it this unknown and it's a scary proposition (at least to me)

On the other hand landing I find is similar to death. An ending of a journey. Whether the journey was a difficult one or an easy one, you have come to the end of it and finally you are free. Free from being stuck in an uncomfortable seat, perhaps you had an overweight person right next to you, may be you got air sick,or perhaps you slept all the way but whatever it may have been you are not free when you are inside of a plane. But when the plane lands you are free to get out and go to wherever you wish. Death brings with it a release; release from pain, sickness, attachments and it frees you to go wherever you wish to go to - just like a landing!

Despite the many variables that affect the 'ride' we call 'life' birth and death are always present and we will all succumb to it. There is no way out. So it makes me question as to why we celebrate birth and lament when death. It makes me question as to why we are scared of death and not of birth. I leave my questions for you to ponder on....

The Illusion of Control - a personal experience

When I was in my late twenties to early thirties, I became very controlling. I guess it happened over a period of time from my late teens to early twenties when my life was going exactly the way I planned or even better. I was very successful in my career, I was holding powerful positions, brushing elbows with powerful people, I was recognised for my abilities and my achievements, I was very influential and was able to sway very powerful people to do what I thought was best.....and after a while I began to believe that I could make things happen just by willing for things to happen.

But I hit a road block. Things started going out of control. It wasn't something that I was hit with all of a sudden. It gradually descended upon me. I realised this much later on. But at the time it was descending upon me, I began to feel frustrated, annoyed, angry that people were simply being 'asses'. So I thought I ought to 'will' more. Because I believed that I can do things and make things happen, I tried hard to put things back in place. To my shock, the more I tried the less control I felt. While I still had control over my career, the influence I exerted in the world, my personal life was falling apart. For once I could not control my own life. This was the biggest shock and reason why I started questioning myself.

I used to wonder why was it that I had such a grip on things outside but I could not do so in my own life. So I tried harder, to find that things started slipping through my fingers right in front of my eyes. I became disillusioned, I lost confidence in myself, I felt very very depressed, I also felt that I was being let down by my own principles and sense of morality and most importantly by my loved ones. Basically I felt that the whole world was going against me and that no one understood what the heck was happening to me including myself.

One fine day, about three years ago, I remember very clearly that I finally decided to stop trying. It was very intentional. The intention wasn't even wholesome when I think back because I did it out of desperation and I did it because I had enough of trying. But I was going to just stop!

It was then the miracle happened. I call it a miracle because what happened to me afterwards was something that I didn't think was possible.

It was when I decided to let go and stop complaining, stop trying to make things turn out the way I want and instead to do the best I can irrespective of what anyone in my life was doing to me or saying to me, that I felt a great sense of peace and release. It was almost as if I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. Within months I felt a sense of confidence that I had never felt before. It had nothing to do with any success I was experiencing in my professional or personal life. It was nothing to do with any influence I was exerting on powerful people around me or on my loved ones. It wasn't because my life started unfolding the way I wanted it to or it was moving the way I wanted it to. But it was because for the first time in my life I felt a sense of peace. A sense of "I am going to be alright". It was the most powerful thing that has ever happened to me.

I haven't looked back since then...at least not until now. This episode in my life taught me some very important and valuable lessons that I would like to share with you right now.

It taught me that life, even if it is your own, is not in your control. Things happen whether you like it or not, whether you want it or not, whether you change your jobs, change countries, change people around you....no matter what you do things will happen. There is so much you can do to change things.The best you can do is to do your very best with a sense of gladness for the opportunity given and let the rest take care of itself.

It taught me that I should not get carried away when things are going well for me and not get bogged down when things are not going well for me. Nothing lasts forever. Everything has a beginning, a middle and an end. We just need to be patient and continue to give our very very best. The illusion of control makes you feel you are doing things right and that you are doing your very best, so that when things don't go well, you always look to pass on the blame to someone else. More often than not we are not doing our best. We are too obsessed with "what's in it for me?" and as a result we are unable to give our very best. In the same way we are unable to love another person or persons.

It also taught me that I am responsible for how I feel at any given point of time and that it is my choice to be happy, unhappy, sad, miserable, angry, jealous, elated, peaceful etc. This is one of the hardest lessons I learnt. The emotions we feel are things that we already have. What another person or a situation may do, is bring out those emotions that are already within us. No one can make us feel things that we don't have within us!

I learnt that I cannot and should not try to escape reality, especially when that reality is not pleasant or it's not the way I want it to be. You need to face it directly. Otherwise, it's like a ghost chasing you and you running to save your life. You cannot out run a ghost. It will always find you. I learnt to face myself instead of looking at the person in front of me and trying to pass the blame. I learnt to face the hurt, disappointment, anger, frustration and look at them squarely in their faces within myself. Through that I found peace.

I also learnt to forgive....again this was a hard lesson for me. Forgiving was tough. Because it meant that I had to give up the reasons that gave me the right to hate another being, even if that being had hurt me, done and said things to me which I did not deserve by any means. In forgiveness I found my peace. I was not burning, I did not have to figure out ways to be mean to someone else. I didn't have to carry the baggage of past with me anymore. I felt free.

I learnt that peace and happiness come to you when you let go of your controlling. That you become an easier person to be with for others and more than that an easier person for you to be with when you stop being controlling. I learnt that peace and happiness are things to be found within and that no one, and I mean NO ONE, can ever give it to you or teach it to you. You need to dig deep down to find it within your own heart.

I learnt to be more humble and understanding of people's shortcomings. We all try to do one thing at the end of the day. And that is to be happy and have some peace of mind (some of us are not aware of this but this is what we all strive for). Just as much as I tried to control things because I believed that, that was the way to find happiness and peace, so do others. People's intentions at most times are not wrong or harmful they are just skewed because of lack of understanding, just like mine. So I try to find compassion whenever possible when I find those who are controlling of things and even of me.

I learnt to enjoy the present moment. This moment is all we have and all we will ever be. The rest is our memories of our past and anticipations and hopes of a future. Neither can be experienced for what it is. You can experience only the present. I have learnt to have fun and lots of it by being in the present moment. It also leaves me with little room to grudge, find fault and complain.

These are some of the lessons I learnt through some the darkest of days in my life so far. The only thing I try now is to put these lessons into practice. I am less worried about the results but I give myself to whatever is at hand. I try not to indulge myself with thoughts of past and future but instead live this moment to the best of my ability and if I mess it up I will forgive myself and move on. I try not to be so confident that I can make things happen and that if I were to 'will or try a little bit harder' things could be better. As a result over the last three years, I have felt a sense of great unburdening. I feel free, happy, peaceful more often than not. I feel as if I am seeing things through a new perspective.

My wish to whoever reads this, is that you may never have to experience darkness in your life. But as a human being it's an inevitability. We do experience ups and downs in life. It may be big or it maybe small but open your eyes to those moments, see them clearly and most of all learn from them. They can unfold some of the greatest gifts that you can ever receive in this journey we call life.

What is suffering?

The aim of practicing the path of the Buddha is to overcome suffering and ultimately transcend dukka. Now Dukka and suffering have two distinct meanings. They are not the same. Some of us think that Dukka is suffering. But that is not a correct understanding. Let me explain to the best of my understanding and experience.

Dukka is a natural law. We have no choice. Dukka will always be there whether we like it or not. Being born is dukka, being sick is dukka, dying is dukka, receiving blame is dukka, losing loved ones is dukka....and there are many other factors that make up dukka. We all experience one or more things from time to time. Even the great Buddha himself experienced sickness, old-age, death, blame etc.

However unlike dukka which is a natural law, suffering is a choice. We have the option to suffer or not to suffer. Now isn't that a wonderful thing!!! How is that so? Well suffering is a reaction to dukka. For example, when we are sick, in addition to the sickness we suffer because we think "Oh why do I have to get sick?", "Why me?", "Why now?", "What did I do to deserve this"?, "How can this happen to me?"........many such questions lead us towards the path of suffering. When loved ones die, we say "Oh why did they die?", "They should not have died so young, it's unfair", "I cannot live without them"......many such lamentations.

Now whether we like it or not death is going to happen; our parents, children, partners, sisters and brothers are going to die; we are going to die; we are going to be sick and old and we are going to get wrinkles, white hair and those wonderful phenomena that come with old age....these things happen because that's the way it is. But when we react to it, that reaction brings suffering.

So what causes us to react? Because logically if you figure out what causes the reaction then we can figure out how to address the cause which will stop the reaction and as a result any suffering. Well the reaction happens because of craving. In other words, we desire or we want something else and not the dukka that we are experiencing. For example, when we get sick, we want NOT to be sick. Now that wanting NOT to be sick is called suffering.

Another example, we go on holidays. Well we have to come back home. Now coming back home after a holiday is not as bad as thinking "Oh I don't want to go back home", "I'm not looking forward to going back to work".....so what makes you suffer is your wanting for your holiday to continue and your wanting not to resume normal life.

Even the Buddha and the great Arahants had dukka but because they understood that that is the way things are, they did not suffer from it. The Buddha was said to have suffered from severe diarrhea during the last months of his life. Imagine how painful that would have been. Imagine if that were to happen to us how miserable we would be. But the Buddha understood that having a body meant, that it would get sick, it was subject to decay, pain....but he was also very wise to know that complaining about it or worrying about it not going to change things other than make yourself and others miserable.

I know we are not as wise and capable as the Buddha, at least I am not. But we can certainly make a stride in the right direction. It's incredible that with each small step that you begin to realise the power and the truth of what he taught 25 centuries ago. But it's not easy. It's an uphill battle. It takes a lot of determination and courage and patience. I have read many management books and self-improvement books and I am sure that most of you have done that as well. Some of you including myself would have made great effort to be the kind of leader described in those books by striving to follow the methods, instructions given.

The path of the Buddha is the same. In fact I have found that it takes even more personal courage and determination because results are slow. You also find that at most times you have no companion on the path and that you are there by yourself and that you have to depend on your own understandings and learn to listen to yourself and keep to the code of ethics laid down by the Buddha. Also you will find that most people are walking in the opposite direction to the path you are taking.

So the chances that you get discouraged are enormous. The chances that you would questions as to why bother or why walk a difficult path all by yourself when all the others are having fun and walking the easy way will swamp your mind. So I would like to end my blog with the following story which I found in Steven Coveys book on "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People". I think the story has the answer to the question why.

"Two battleships assigned to the training squadron had been at sea on maneuvers in heavy weather for several days. I was serving on the lead battleship and was on watch on the bridge as night fell. The visibility was poor with patchy fog, so the captain remained on the bridge keeping an eye on all activities.

Shortly after dark, the lookout on the wing of the bridge reported "Light, bearing on the starboard bow."

"Is is steady or moving astern?" the captain called out.

Lookout replied, "Steady, captain." which meant we were on a collision course with that ship.

The captain then called to the signalman, "Signal that ship: We are on a collision course, advise you change course 20 degrees"

Back came a signal, "Advisable for you to change course 20 degrees"

The captain said, "Send, I'm a captain, change course 20 degrees"

"I'm a seaman second class," came the reply. "You had better change course 20 degrees"

By that time, the captain was furious. He spat out, "Send, I am a battleship. Change course 20 degrees."

Back came the flashing light, "I'm a lighthouse"

We changed course.