I feel that we live in a world that is becoming too politically correct. That's how I feel. I don't mean that we have to be mean and nasty to one another in how we use language; by all means we must be polite and show great sensitivity and care when we talk to and about one another. But I fear that at some point we will not be able to open our mouths and say anything without being criticized or condemned as being offensive to someone or group. I think that's ridiculous.
I don't disagree that people have used language to marginalize and discriminate against people and groups. I do believe we have to have sensitivity and care in our use of the language but our approach to the use of language comes from many aspects of our lives and our experiences, our prejudices and biases, up bringing and even times we live in. Without paying attention to these factors and how they contribute towards shaping of our use of language, it's difficult to understand why someone might say things the way they say.
I have lived in many countries. I was brought up in a South Asian culture, studied in an European country and lived in two North American countries. Each has their own way of using language and also just because it's considered politically incorrect in one country does not mean that it is in another. So we have to give ourselves a little room. Living in America currently feels like it's going through identity crisis. I lived in Canada before and before that in the UK. I'd say the English are pretty good at being politically correct but yet they have puns and wit that in some ways scratch at being totally politically correct. The Canadians are pretty good at being politically correct but sometimes nothing gets done. Cause everyone is concerned about making everyone happy and at ease. Sometimes it's so annoying that you cannot call a spade a spade. So there is waste of time and resources trying to be nice. I used to think Americans were pretty forward and expressive. But now that is being debated....
I mean there has to be a better way...a middle way of being able to say what you have to say but also do in a way that shows some sensitivity but also not so much as to lose the message. I mean I once worked with this student who had a bad attitude. She wasn't good at reading and therefore had a hard time doing her math. I recognized that after a couple of sessions with her. But what made things worse was her attitude. Perhaps she knew she was lagging behind but she was a difficult student. So after a few weeks I raised that with her tutors. Their response was to affirm what I had felt. But for some reason their way of addressing this issue was to make her a leader to a group of younger students to help her build her self esteem. It did not seem that they spoke to her about her struggles. Her attitude got worse as time went on and I refused to work with her at the end.
To me it seemed crazy to not address the issue head on. I mean what's wrong with that. If someone is struggling isn't it because they don't know what's happening? Or may be they but they don't know what to do about it? This girls was only 7 years old. I think this was an opportunity missed.
Being politically correct shouldn't mean that we fail to address what needs to be addressed and tell what needs to be told. For heaven's sake what if the doctors don't tell us that we have cancer or we are dying...instead sugar coat it to make us feel better in our heads...then one fine day we get worse and we realize that we are about to go and there is a truck load of unfinished business. Think about the flip side too...
Today I saw on a FB post a thing called an "Up Syndrome". I was curious. So I read through the post. It was written by a mother who has had a baby with downs syndrome. But apparently now its called Up Syndrome...apparently it's feels not very good to to call it "DOWN' so now they call it "UP'. I felt that was a joke. I mean who are we trying to fool...ourselves? the child? the society? Or are we to lessen the hurt, the fear or the insecurity of having a child with 'Downs Syndrome". Is it going to take way the mental and physical challenges that life will pose on that child and it's caretakers? I don't get it..I really didn't think it was a good thing.
In some ways it's same with death. We now call funerals 'celebrations' and death as 'passing'. Why can't we use the proper term for it? What do we have lose? Or are we scared to face the truth? Are we sacred to face our own fears and inability to face the reality of things? I ask that in terms of all other stories I wrote here.
Somewhere we need to stop this ridiculous way of being. I think deep down there is a fear and an inability accept these challenges of life that we face from time to time. I think our way of trying to lessen the sting is to give it a positive twist. It's like doing plastic surgery or botox. For a while, we might look good on the outside...but is that going to stop or slow the aging process? No. Then one fine day we look ourselves in the mirror and won't even recognize ourselves...because there will come the day when we won't be able to keep up with the surgeries and the injections and we will look deformed.
Instead what's wrong with calling it what it is..yes it might hurt and it might not feel good. But learn to recognize that. Find away to work with yourselves to ease the pain in our heart and mind. The constant yapping that makes you want to change things from what they are, the nagging feeling that somehow things should be different. Sometimes no matter how much we fluff the terminology, it will not take away the pain and the hurt and the inadequacies that come along with it. It will not stop you from going to dark parts of your mind.
I remember in Harry Potter, everyone was calling Voldemort "He Who Must Not Be Named"...when Harry says the actual name they hush him. But Professor Dumbledore, I think it was, says that not uttering what you fear increases the fear of it even further. I think there is great wisdom in that. Then as the fear increases you are unable to do much about it. Its the fear that will rule you. So I think we owe it to ourselves to look at how we use language. Are we using it to runaway from difficult and challenging situations? Why do we need to sugar coat things? Is it for whose benefit? Ours or others? I think there has to be this kind of scrutiny...if not we are going to grope in the dark for long periods of time. That would be a sad thing. If we don't scrutiny these patterns we will also increase our chances of becoming mentally imbalanced...a world where we don't know what is and what is not. What is sad is that at some point we won't need anyone else to do that to us it will be done by ourselves.
The Dhamma is a way out of the peril....dhamma invites and encourages one to look at things the way they are and find ways to accept them. Accepting doesn't mean being passive. In fact it is one of the most active states I have experienced. Acceptance as I know now, is not a 'Choice-less' activity. In fact you fully exert your right to have a choice. It also comes with great understanding and kindness instead of rejection or denial. When these things come together no matter how challenging the situation is or circumstances are we find a way. A way to see the ugly as ugly, the unpleasant as unpleasant, sad as sad, death as death, sickness as sickness, stupidity as stupidity. Instead of this making us feel helpless or vulnerable and victimized, this acceptance will make us feel empowered, we will find a sense of peace and security.
I think we mustn't use language as a curtain to hide behind our challenges. It shouldn't be used as a means to lessen the sting. Because language is an external thing for most of us (at least that who we might perceive..away to communicate with the outside world). But we also use language internally. It is the same way we talk to ourselves. So why train ourselves to sugar coat things? If we do it externally there will come a day when we will sugar coat things internally. The results will be a disconnect with reality. No matter how much we sugar coat reality, it will still remain reality and we will have to face the brunt of it. Then what? Use drugs to escape reality?
I think it's time we took a good look at ourselves and how we shape the world we live in...especially for the young ones.
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