Wednesday, December 30, 2009

A New Year Thought

Another year is about to end and a new one about to start. Every year we make what we call the 'New Year Resolutions' and more often than not, we get to the end of the year to realise that we have not been mindful about the resolutions that we made at the beginning of the year. So we make 'New' new year resolutions and again we forget them or we get too busy and caught up in living the year to remember the resolutions and act on them. So we get to another end of a year and so start the same cycle all over again.
I find that ending of one year and the start of a new year is like dying and being reborn. We start with a bang (typically a loud cry) and then die wondering how time has flown in the blink of an eye. Lots of regret, what ifs, things left undone and unsaid, unfinished business...Then we die and are reborn and we do the same thing all over. The most important part, which is in the middle of being born and dying, is left a blur; just like some of us left wondering how 365 days flew by us (of course some prefer to drown themselves in alcohol and other stuff just to avoid the question) and that somehow time has passed by us yet again.
Why should we wait until we get to the end of our lives to reflect on 'Life'? Please know that the 'end of our lives' can happen at any moment and that we need not wait for 50 years or 70 years or 100 years. Right now maybe the time that we die and if we were to die has the time that we've lived been meaningful to ourselves and others? So the question is how do we make ourselves meaningful to ourselves and others? Yes I do mean when I say 'ourselves'. It's imperative that we create meaning within ourselves because without that, it's almost impossible to give to others. It's like having a bank account with no money. How can you withdraw money for others when even you cannot for your own needs?
Making life meaningful for ourselves is much easier than we think. But we make it complicated because we try to give it meaning through things that don't hold much meaning. Many strive to give meaning to their lives through their jobs, having material possessions like a house, car and lots of stocks, others in their children, in having the most relaxing vacation and the list goes on...but does this really give meaning to your life? Maybe temporarily but not forever. This is the reason why many people live life moving from one to another be it a job, a relationship, a house or whatever. Trying but always failing.
The things that give life real meaning are unconditional love, kindness, kind words, gentleness, patience, a warm smile, a helping hand, acceptance, giving without asking anything in return, a sense of appreciation for all things good or bad, not holding on to grudges, not hating, not being jealous, forgiving and many more. You will find that when you have truly forgiven someone, you feel a sense of ease, less burden, less worry, less fear unlike when you hate or even dislike someone. When you hate or dislike someone you feel a burden, a sense of needing to justify your reasons for disliking that person, your blood start to boil and heart start to pound every time you think of them or see them, you become bothered. So, do you want to burden yourself or unburden yourself?
Now that you have given meaning to yourself, how do you get about giving meaning to others lives? Simply by cultivating above qualities. For example, if you are a boss and you cultivate kindness, patience and appreciation you will most likely find that your people respond to you in a similar fashion and that they are much happier workers and thus more productive. If you are a parent and you learn to accept your child for what he/she is rather than trying to mold them into what you want them to be, you may find that they become less stubborn. If you are a wife or husband and you practice forgiveness and unconditional love you may find that your relationship becomes smooth and caring. Have you noticed that others smile at you when you smile at them? Isn't it hard to hate someone who is 'Nice and Kind' compared to someone who is angry and someone who makes your life miserable? So be the Nice, Kind and Smiley person and NOT the angry, miserable person.
Have a peaceful and meaningful year 2010!

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