Thera Ananda once said to Lord Buddha, "Lord, a good and noble friend is part of the spiritual path", to which the Buddha replied, "No Ananda, a good and noble friend is the entire spiritual path".
Now those of you reading might think, "Hey I'm not following a spiritual path and neither am I interested...so this is not for me"....well wrong thinking. Whether you follow a spiritual path or not "Noble" friends are a very important aspect of life. Someone of you might think "Well I think I have plenty of good friends...so I am one of those few lucky people", well in that case read on...so you may admire the wonderful qualities of your 'already acquired' good friends.
We live in a world full of relationships be it a relationship between parents, siblings, spouses, relatives, friends, enemies or anyone we come to associate with. Each relationship has an influence on us whether we like to believe it or not or accept it or not. Also each relationship influences us in a positive way, negative way or typically do a bit of both. So it is essential for us to understand who influences us and in which way and whether that influence would make you a better person or not. Ultimately no one is going to hold our hand and take responsibility for our lives....you may have plenty of friends who sit by you, hold you, cry for you or do whatever but we are responsible for how we live our lives and who we become as humans. So it's important for us to understand with wisdom how to make distinctions....distinctions not to put others down, not to make ourselves feel good but make distinctions because they help us to become better people than we were yesterday.
So we need to recognise who "Noble" friends are. Let's look at what a "Noble' friend is not. A noble friend is not necessarily a person who will spend hours shopping with you, talking with you, watching TV, movies, playing video games, who tells you how slim you look even if you are not. You know sometime you have friends who talk to your face as your best mate but the moment your back is turned they tell stories about you, or talk about you; then there are those who are good with you as long as you are good to them; the others are happy to share your sad moment but when you are happy or having success in life they just cannot live it down; then there are those whom you reach for help but because of their advise you fall into bigger trouble; then there are those who encourage you to do wrong things...such as taking you to the pub when you having trouble. The list can go on....
Some of the things that I mentioned are very obvious but some come with very subtle things that start off as a snowflake that later turn into a snowball and then into an avalanche...so you need to be able to discriminate. Discriminate not because you don't like their face, or their family or what they do but because you see them for who they are irrespective of your personal likes and dislikes. Now I don't mean to make people look like monsters..sometime people don't intend to intentionally put you into trouble or talk about you undauntedly. They just do it because that's who they are. Sometimes not knowing what you do and what your actions and words can cause others is a far dangerous thing....so you need to know and be aware. It's like being in a jungle....you need to have a compass, you need to know that there could be wild beasts and that you cannot leave it up to the jungle to protect you, because if you did you can get lost and be destroyed.
A noble friend is not like that at all.
Quite frankly a noble friend is someone who is able to guide you in the right direction when you find yourself lost in life. A noble friend is someone who will be able to tell you that you are lost to begin with and show you the way out. A noble friend will always have your back and take good care of you. Sometimes you meet people who tell you things that you don't like to hear, but you know in your heart you know it to be true and that in the long run if you did as you are told things will become easier for you. Such are characteristics of noble friends. Noble friends also help you without expecting anything in return. They do things for you because it needs to be done and because it's the right thing to do and that by doing it your life is going to get better.
It's difficult to find noble friends these days, at least that's my experience. Also some of you might find it difficult to be with a noble friend. I use the simile of water and oil to explain this...they just don't mix. But the few I have found have made my life so much better; they have opened up my eyes and given me new perspectives that have helped me to have a broader outlook on life. They have also helped me to look at myself honestly and openly above all which has given my life a lot of meaning and substance.
So I hope all of you will strive to find noble friends and also in return be noble friends to others.
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