Prisoners of our own hearts

Ajhan Brahm always says that 'doors of hell are open for us to walk out at anytime', but we choose to stay locked up!!

A story my mother told me today, strongly reminded me of that simple but profound truth. This story was related by a Buddhist priest who frequently visits the Bogambara prison in Sri Lanka to talk Dhamma to the inmates. One day he had spoken with an older prisoner who was imprisoned for life. The stroy unfolds that this particular inmate had taken the life of a man who had killed his wife and son. With witnesses and evidence to support the fact that he committed the crime the man was setenced to life in prison. It was while he served his term, that he had started to practice loving-kindness meditation. By the time the priest met the prisoner he had not only fogiven the person who took the most beloved people from his life but, he had also forgiven himiself. His heart bore only metta; his heart was free.

Hearing this story I realised that, though his body maybe in a prison cell, he was not. He had long set himself free from the prison. He had walked out of 'doors of hell'!

Don't you think it's ironic that some of us, though not prisoners, live locked up in the prisons of our hearts?! That we sit in hell realms of anger, greed, jealosy and ignorance burning day-in-day-out for days, years and sometimes until the day we die?! Can you look into your heart and see whether you have locked up your heart in a hell realm? If so, will you want to walk out of it and can you walk out of it?

I have found that most of us, including myself, choose to be locked up. We choose not to walk out of the hell doors that are open to us 24x7. When I first realised this I was shocked. Why do we wish to be in hell realms? Why do we refuse to walk out of hell doors that are open to us all of the time? Why do we want to suffer? I have come to understand that this is because forgiveness and acceptance come hard for some of us at some of the times. Sometimes it's hard to forgive someone who has done wrong to us. Sometimes it's hard to accept that someone else is doing better than us. Sometimes it's hard to forgive and accept ourselves. But without forgiveness and acceptance it's not possible to walk out of the doors of hell though they maybe open.

Why is it that we find it difficult to forgive and accept in certain situations, with certain people? I think it's because we think that if we were to forgive and accept we would become 'less', that our importance is dimished in our own eyes or perhaps the other person might think we are weak and that we are surrendering ourself or giving in, or sometimes we think that we have to be the one to bring justice upon the situation or the person i.e. that we have to 'right the wrong'. The society we live in has also not helped much. In the Western world we are taught to 'take the fight to the other person' whereas in the Eastern world we are taught to tolerate. Fighting is open and tolerance is hidden. Either way it gets ugly. Neither is right. Neither gives the heart the freedom.

Instead what is required, in my opinion is that, we have to see the situation with clarity, understand it as it is and let it go. In other words, through understanding we learn to forgive and accept. This is neither fighting nor tolerating. It's a whole new way of looking at things. However, it frees the heart. Through this we can walk out of the prison cells of our own hearts. Through this we can find liberation. Even if it is only for a moment, the heart will get a taste of the freedom and will rejoice in it.

May you find that freedom!